I wish
just once
that someone would hear
my cry,
In the heart of this place,
alone pain,
Three deep
bruising pain,
It seems,
the more God rises
the more I shrink inward,
Drawn by the voice
but somehow
out
seems unreachable,
now even more;
how can I stand
How can I think
in the madness?
And even in this moment
the spiral catches a
death train of thoughts,
I can see ahead
the bridge is out,
Canyon boulders smashing
in storm river surge
severing supports to life
Leaving disaster broken
rails,
beyond the torture
bent metal,
the dark chasm plunge,
future inevitable
future blind
future bonded,
can't stop in time
can't stop time
Can't get off -out.

Handcuffed to fate,
The giant Goliath
looms,
laughs,
leers,
grows bigger,
pounding the iron
Weapons bloodied
steel already hooked
into my mind,
Problem unsolvable,
Death only to be embraced.

Something I heard?
"Death where is your sting?"
And I hear echoes,
Goliath sneers:
"Death is your noose"
"Death is let loose"
"Death is your smile"
"Death is your trial"
"Death fake shouts"
"Death is your doubts"
"Death is your prison"
"Death is your poison"
"Death is your reason"
"Death is your treason"
Underneath my skin
my skull laughs,
I can't save my life!

What would happen
if I opened my mouth,
Bitter...
Dryness of throat
trying to strangle
even this hope?
What would happen if I
opened my heart?
Lived for and with
something greater,
discovered a purpose
bigger than anything before.
Bitter..can there be truth
Can I believe?

Maybe...
if Jesus rose
if his love was so vast
his cross power so eternal
that he would easily say,
"Death where is your sting?"
and He could reach
across time,
Touch me
Change me
Hope me
Free me,
And I could truly live?

Time is a fleeting blink...
connected to my future...

How small did I think,
With Sunday tranquilizer gone,
I see with new eyes
the past,
No longer will I
cut off my destiny,
for God arrives in this now,
Grace an open door,
to gift me my future,
lies of circumstance
shrivel in the Light,
The truth in now,
Defeats any Goliath,
Grace inside far bigger
than the outside battle...

And I laugh...
Dance...
Anointed the beginning
turning to glory.